we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
