who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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