Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You smell like stripper and shame
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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