I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
