I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If I die, sorry about rent.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
