Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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