sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
