He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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