Your dad touched me again.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
40s are totally the cure
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
