i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
