..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
