are you still at the devil's house?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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