Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
