erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
