So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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