If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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