I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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