am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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