I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
