good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
