I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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