I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
