actually, I'm a sock model
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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