"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
