I need help removing her.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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