Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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