i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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