Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
