God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
