No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
PANTIES FOUND
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