I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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