we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
