this beer tastes like vomit already
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
