Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
