Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You ruined the universe
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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