how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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