i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Alive.
So much puke
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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