My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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