my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize