I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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