just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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