Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
