When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
well you can't waste a boner
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
