Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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