pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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