dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
