We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
