how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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