i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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