6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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