sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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