he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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