I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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