She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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