New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
