Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
